abbreviated daylight

tearsheet: cover to cover

2011-12-26T16:47:00.000-08:00

It's been an epic and busy few months, but I can't think of a better way to wind down the year.

When I got my first assignment for Fader back in late '08, I never dreamed I'd get to shoot a cover feature, much less two in a row! I had the pleasure of running around LA with Zola Jesus (and, for a minute, with the lovely writer/editor Amber Bravo), then back to SF for an impromptu hike in a torrential downpour with Cass McCombs (you should read Daniel Arnold's story here, it's beautiful. Honestly.). Every shoot is a new adventure, and I'm forever grateful to JFP and the gang for giving me such an epic entrée into segments of the music world I'd never otherwise have thought to explore.

So, in the interest of keeping things short and sweet, here's a couple galleries of some of my favorites from each shoot.

endless summer.

2011-11-26T19:13:00.000-08:00

Now that summer is nothing more than a fleeting memory, drowned out by the icy downpour that is winter in the valley, I figured it was time to go through my photos from North Carolina. I'm greeted in the morning by a thick frost on my windshield, and I wistfully remember how just a few short months ago I dreaded sitting in that oven of a car, which lacks a proper air conditioner. The days go by faster and faster.

This past summer was filled with a few big firsts, the best of which was my first trip to North Carolina. It's a place that I've romanticized for years, hearing stories from friends of summers spent at watering holes, diving off boulders, green, lush forests and a mild, humid climate that you never really get in California. Good friend Bryan Derballa rounded up the troops in an effort to share his hometown memories with us. We rented a giant cabin next to a waterfall and spent the days hiking and swimming and the nights cooking together, lighting sparklers and watching the stars.

Here are some pictures from the adventure - really just a glimmer into the epic few days lost in the woods.

Side note: new friend Christine Huang and her man, Dwight, put together the first issue of their labor of love, seasonzine. The summerzine issue features a big photo spread by some of us kids on the trip, including Bryan, Mike Belleme, Danilo Parra, and Alex Welsh. Check it out here, and get a copy! It's a great little zine, and I'm excited to see them take it on throughout the year.

Double side note: Throughout the trip, Matt Jacoby and Danilo Parra (with help from Annelise and the rest of the crew) worked their butts off shooting a music video for Brett 'Sweet Tooth' Nelson. Every day they'd be off shooting something, running through the woods with smoke bombs, covering Brett in fake blood, making him jump off the highest cliff we could find. It was incredible to watch. But even more incredible is the final video they put together. Check it out here, you won't regret it.

Tearsheet: Huck, Rivers

2011-06-06T12:41:00.000-07:00

In April, I had a chance to photograph someone who's music always reminds me of summers during high school, of friends and soccer practice. Even though I eventually "grew out" of regularly following the band, albums like 'Pinkerton' will always have a fond place in my heart and my CD collection. So I was pretty excited to find out that I'd have a chance to meet Weezer frontman Rivers Cuomo and photograph him down in LA for a cover story for British magazine Huck. Even though I wasn't able to have a conversation with him beyond an introductory "hello," it was really interesting to see behind-the-scenes of a few hours in the life of a rock star... especially when part of that time included a shoeless soccer practice.

The other awesome thing about this issue of Huck was seeing that once again I got to share the pages with a couple of my friends and fellow photographers. Bryan Derballa was sent to New Zealand to photograph surfer Cory Lopez, and Mustafah Abdulaziz pulled double-duty, photographing Slavoj Zizek and also having a small article about his personal work. It's always nice to see page after page featuring the work of good friends, and it leaves me with a warm feeling of camaraderie that I've missed since my days at the paper in Stockton. So I scanned each of our articles (since it's a little tricky to find the actual magazine in these parts), and you can check out more on the Huck website.

And one last bonus: the photo I shot for the story ended up on a limited run of beer bottles, given out at the launch party in London! I didn't get to go, but my awesome editor snapped a picture of it for me (rad!):

Noisey: The Cults in SF

2011-05-17T15:38:00.000-07:00

Things have been a little crazy over the last few months, but it's about time I updated this blog with some fun stuff. And what better way to start than with the Cults! I'd spent a couple of weeks in LA (more on that soon, I promise), and the day after I got back to Northern California I had the pleasure of teaming up with Vice/Noisey to check out the Cults playing at the Independent in SF. It was a great show, and all the bands were incredibly open and gracious. Not having known much about the band before I got to the venue, I have to say I was pleasantly surprised... and I'll definitely be adding their songs to my regular rotation. So check out the awesome videos, photos, and all that fun stuff on the Noisey website (click the screencap below, or just go here), and if the Cults come to your town, give 'em a try; I'm sure you'll dig 'em.

... And here are some of my favorite shots from the evening. Enjoy!

tearsheet: wsj, solaria

2011-01-27T21:00:00.000-08:00

January has been a crazy month, both personally and professionally. Which is why I haven't been updating the blog with all the awesome assignments and personal work I've been stashing quietly on my little hard drive. I promised myself that this year, 2011, would be different: more posts, more writing, and hopefully more input from everyone following along out there.

So here's some outtakes from an assignment I did a couple of weeks ago for the Wall Street Journal. I had the pleasure of meeting and photographing Steve Andersen, a former employee at the Nummi auto plant in Fremont, CA (This American Life did an awesome piece about the closing of the plant; if you missed it, you can listen here), who now works for Solaria, a clean-energy plant that produces solar panels. Steve was incredibly welcoming, talking about getting hired by Solaria after only a few months of unemployment, and going to work at the old site across the street from Nummi.

If you want to read the article, you can see it online here, or click on the clip above.

2010

2011-01-13T20:20:00.001-08:00

Every year since I've become a freelancer, I've tried to make a post with my favorite photos from the last 365 days. I was fortunate enough to travel across the country a few times, to get in a few good road trips, to see old friends and make new ones, to shoot some amazing assignments for talented editors, and perhaps most importantly I learned to step back and remember that sometimes life just needs to be lived and not constantly photographed. Although you probably couldn't tell that by looking at the pictures below. Ha.

Looking through thousands of photos from stories, assignments, and my own life... it's daunting, but it always reminds me that I'm surrounded by incredible people and incredible situations. It helps me remember I'm not alone in this.

So here's a selection of my favorite photos from 2010. Better late than never.

spirit of giving.

2011-01-03T16:14:00.000-08:00

Every year, the Stockton Record (the paper I used to work for as a staffer) does a series right before Christmas. It is called "The Giving Spirit," and it is a collection of stories that highlight the work of local non-profit organizations that give to the community. This year, the Record hired me to work on the project with amazing writer Jennifer Torres. We battle-planned out the 7-part series, and tried to tell the stories of the good works of these organizations through the eyes of individuals who directly benefit from the services.

I loved working on these stories and getting to know folks who were willing to open up their lives to us during the good and the bad. Hopefully next year we'll have the chance to try it again and turn it into a deeper look at the holiday season for those in need. Either way, it was great to be a part of the Record team again, and I have to give mad props to Jennifer for putting in so much work to get access to just the right folks on a tight deadline, and also to Jeff Criesi for being a bad-ass designer and making them look good on the page.

So here's a gallery of how the stories ran in the paper, in date order. If you want to check out more photos and read the stories, you can see them online here.

And, just for fun, here are some of my favorite photos from each story that may or may not have made it into the paper. Enjoy!

economy for the WSJ

2011-01-01T17:40:00.000-08:00

Now that it's a new year, it's time to sort through the old hard drives and finally catch up on some blog posts from the last couple of months! So let's start from the last assignment of the year and work backwards.

I couldn't have asked for a better assignment to round out 2010. The Wall Street Journal asked me to photograph the McLaughlin family in Sacramento for a story about the lasting effects of the economy crisis. The McLaughlins have been trying to sell their home for several years, hoping to upgrade to a three-bedroom house to accommodate their growing family. But with the housing market in the region at a standstill, they are stuck in a kind of limbo, waiting for something to give.

Here are some of my favorite photos from that evening. The McLaughlins and their children were incredibly sweet and open, allowing me to spend hours photographing their nightly activities. Since it was the day after Christmas, the kids excitedly showed me their new toys... and I got to practice taking pictures while being shot at, which is a skill that could come in handy in the future.

Enjoy! And if you want to see the story, check it out here.

forage.

2010-10-19T12:58:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of photographing Bay Area forager Connie Green in Napa for the Wall Street Journal. We spent a few hours driving through the Napa Valley, finding hidden (and sometimes not-so-hidden) pockets of native plants, climbing through thickets and picking all kinds of fresh foods from public land. I'd never been foraging before and didn't really know what to expect but Connie was incredibly accommodating, showing me how to collect black walnuts and how to find wild fennel. She even gave me some tips on the plants that grow wild in Sacramento, so maybe I'll go foraging in my neighborhood instead of going to the grocery store this week.

You can read the story here.

holga

2010-07-22T12:11:00.000-07:00

I finally got around to processing and scanning about 8 rolls of random expired film that I shot on my little Holga over the last year or so. Not a whole lot came out, but there were a few fun surprises in the mix. And at least now I know where my camera has light leaks... haha. Enjoy!

zombie walk

2010-07-12T16:16:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I had the pleasure of participating in my first zombie walk! We met up with hundreds of zombie-enthusiasts to walk the streets of Sacramento for this month's Second Saturday Art Walk. It was amazing! But I have to say, it would probably have been easier to photograph if I wasn't covered in fake blood. Here's some photos I managed to snag between zombie-groans and utterances of "braaaaaaains!" Enjoy!

verve.

2010-06-25T14:33:00.000-07:00

I'm really excited to be featured today on the Verve Photo blog! I read it weekly, and am always impressed with the quality of work of the photographers Geoffrey Hiller displays. Go check it out here! And to see the rest of Elena's story (which is still in the works), take a look at the photos on my website.

tear sheet - fader 68

2010-06-22T11:40:00.001-07:00

Just wanted to share some clips from the latest issue of Fader. I was really excited to go down to Los Angeles to photograph Active Child and Freddie Gibbs. It was especially rad to meet up with Gibbs again, since I'd photographed him at SXSW for Oh Dang! Magazine and he was a pleasure to work with. I got to go with him and his crew to Venice Beach to get burgers and walk his super-sweet pit bull puppy. Photographing Active Child was like a blast from the past once we realized we'd gone to high school down the street from each other. We traded stories from living in LA, and for the first time in a while, I felt at home in my home town.

Here are a few outtakes that I liked from each of the shoots. Enjoy!

tear sheet: wired.com

2010-05-22T17:01:00.000-07:00

I was really excited to work with Wired.com on a shoot with Ex-Hacker Adrian Lamo just outside of Sacramento. It was a fun shoot, and definitely a little challenging to try to take interesting and dynamic portraits in a single office-room in the middle of the day, but I think overall it went really well. Here's a couple screenshots of how the photos ran, and if you click on them you can see the whole story. It's an interesting read, for sure, and Adrian is definitely an interesting guy with a wild backstory.

And to close it out, here's an outtake from the shoot that I especially liked. Enjoy!

iphone across the country.

2010-04-23T21:53:00.000-07:00

After South by Southwest was over, I drove my car up to Dallas to pick up friend and fellow photographer B randon Thibodeaux. We took about 5 days to drive Highway 40 (and the Historic Route 66) back to San Francisco, enjoying the sights and taking more pictures than is probably healthy. When we got back, I realized I'd taken a ton of photos on my iPhone and that they were a fun way to trace the journey. So here's a little slideshow of those little pictures (run through the CameraBag application). It's a couple minutes long, but it definitely hits the highlights of the trip. Enjoy!

tear sheet.

2010-04-23T14:27:00.003-07:00

With how much the industry feels like it's splintering off into a million unmanageable pieces, it's always comforting when I can share a little piece of camaraderie with my peers and friends. Which is why I was so excited for the current issue of Fader. Not only did I have a blast photographing a great band, Moon Duo, but flipping through the pages I saw the names of some of my favorite people: Alex Welsh, Bryan Derballa and Mustafah Abdulaziz. Mustafah was kind enough to put together a little slideshow shout-out with outtakes from the issue, and you can see that here on the MJR blog.

sxsw - day four.

2010-04-10T15:53:00.000-07:00

One last day of South by Southwest to show you, and one last day of crazy running around to catch countless shows.

Started the day with back-to-back photo shoots, first with Freddie Gibbs and followed up with Freeway and Jake One. Zoneil and I met up with Freddie in the Marriott hotel restaurant, where I set him up in a couple of different spots. What I love about photographing rappers and hip-hop artists is they're really used to posing for photographs, so they require very little direction and usually know how to make themselves look good. Freddie was awesome because not only did he pose however I asked him, but when his manager said, "Don't smile, keep tough," he burst out laughing. Gotta say, the man has a lovely smile. After the interview, we bounced over to the Embassy Suites to meet up with Freeway and Jake One. I joked about getting the two of them to pose in the bed, under the sheets, but because of the reputations they have, they politely declined, haha. They were cool enough to let us hang around with them in the hotel room a while, and I got what I'd consider one of my favorite photos from the whole week, with the two of them on the couch and Freeway yawning. It just seemed so relaxed, so unlike how most in the rap world present themselves.

After all that, we met up with Todd Spoth over at Ace's Lounge to catch Hey Champ and Bad Rabbits. I was pretty stoked on both sets, but especially by Bad Rabbits, who I'd never heard of before. Full band, minor choreographed dance moves, and just a lot of energy made for a pretty epic set. If you're interested, hit up their website (link above) to download their EP for free. It's definitely worth a listen.

When that was done, I wandered over to the Fader Fort with Todd to see what was going on. Ran into JFP and photographed a bunch of folks having fun dancing in front of the DJ booth. Around 7, walked around the corner to the Independent to catch iLL-Literacy (remember this shoot?) play their set at the Audible Treats showcase. It was totally rad to see their new set in action, including the lego heads and a giant audio/video presentation projected over the audience. Once that wrapped, we hustled back over to Fader Fort just in time to catch a set by Sleigh Bells, which pumped up the audience, and then the headliner for the evening, Bone Thugs-n-Harmony! All-in-all a pretty epic set with all the old jams.

To round out the night, Todd and I headed over to Emo's to catch a set by what was listed as Cokie the Clown... which ended up being NOFX's Fat Mike dressed as a clown, playing a guitar and telling some of the most traumatizing stories I've ever heard on a stage. There's a great recap here on Pinpoint Music, which includes him pranking the audience into drinking his pee. Absolutely legendary.

Overall, it was a great week and I think I might still be recovering weeks later. Here's a few photos from the last day, and I hope you've enjoyed the slow-coming installments.

sxsw - day three.

2010-04-05T15:17:00.001-07:00

Day three was jam-packed. Started off the day doing a quick photo shoot for Oh Dang! Magazine with a hip hop group called Bin Laden Blowing Up [BBU]. They were pretty funny and a little goofy, and provided a great environment to work in. Houston-based photographer Todd Spoth helped with the shoot, which was in the alley behind the Soho Lounge, holding the strobe and even sacrificing a couple of his promo cards for the creation of a snoot.

After the shoot, Todd and I headed over to the Relix Magazine showcase at Antone's to check out the Watson Twins and Minus the Bear. I was really stoked to see both bands; I saw Minus the Bear a few times in college and love them, and I've loved the Watson Twins' music since their album with Jenny Lewis. Once that goodness was through, I met up with Todd at the Shirts for a Cure show at Red7. I was only able to catch a few songs by 7 Seconds (I can't believe they're still playing shows. Amazing.) before Zoneil called me up for a last-minute shoot with Alabama rapper Yelawolf. It was great to meet him, and I totally fell for his southern charm. There was also a lot of pressure (in my head, at least) to do a good shoot with him after seeing photos that Bryan Derballa shot of Yela last month. In the gallery below are just a few outtakes from the shoot; I'm saving the best for publication, and I'll link that when it's up.

Finally, to round out the evening was the show I'd been waiting all week for: Matt Pryor at St. David's Episcopal Church. Yes, that's right, in a church. The scene was gorgeous, the acoustics were amazing, and even crazier, there were only about 35 people there sitting in pews and singing along quietly. Matt Pryor has been one of my favorite musicians since I was in junior high school, and to see a solo performance by him made all the nights of minimal sleep worthwhile.

Ahem.

Since there were really no other shows I really wanted to see that night, I wandered the streets with Todd, saw a set by a Los Angeles band called the Wallburds (on the street - always fun), listened to Neon Indian at their outdoor show from across the street, and saw Minus the Bear play one more time before calling it a night.

With that, here are some of my favorite pictures from the third day. The last day of SXSW will be posted up shortly, I promise.

sxsw - day two.

2010-04-01T21:58:00.000-07:00

Onto more updates from South by Southwest 2010.

Day two started off a little more mellow than the first. Wandered around the streets for a while and met up with Austin-based photographer Bill Reeves to talk shop and compare stories. He ever-so-kindly joined me to catch a set at Stubb's by Sacramento band Middle Class Rut. I've never seen these guys in my town, but friends Lite Brite opened up for them during last summer's Concerts in the Park, and have spoken highly of them, so of course I had to see what the fuss was about. Afterward, I wandered back to the Mariott to meet up with Zoneil for an interview with hip-hop artist Donnis. He was really thoughtful and soft-spoken, and amazingly focused through his work and his music. I'll be sure to post up a link to the article (complete with portraits!) when it runs in Oh! Dang.

Spent most of the rest of the afternoon at Light Bar on Congress to shoot the URB showcase, mostly to see a set by Don Will, and also to check out Nikki Jean. Zoneil had told me a little about Don Will and his latest album, Don Cusack, which was inspired by the movie High Fidelity. Totally. Killer. A reference I can appreciate; that movie was such a big part of my teenage life. As someone who doesn't actively listen to a whole lot of hip hop, it's always fun to check out these shows because the energy is pretty amazing. Everyone is singing along, or if they don't know the words, they're at least feelin' the music. Also, a constant theme of conversation throughout SXSW this year was how blurred the lines have become between the hip hop community and the hipster community, from style to attitude and even down to the music. Which is nice for a little former-punk, current tight-jeans-wearing kid like me. Punk and hip hop were born of the same revolutionary ideals, diverged, and are starting to come back together.... but that's a discussion for another time.

Finally, rounded out the evening with an outdoor set by the Morning Benders. Those kids played probably 8 or 9 shows in a 4-day period, which is seriously impressive. I've dug their music, and after meeting Jon during his brief stint as roommate to the (soon to be) famous Bryan Derballa in NYC, I knew I had to catch them live. And I have to say I'm glad I saw them at the venue I did because it was just beautiful. It was in a gravel parking lot on the other side of the freeway, and the stage was just a lifted platform surrounded by fans and friends. It was like being at a show as a teenager again, kids drinking tall cans and singing along to every song. I'd say it was the perfect ending to a lovely day.

So here are a handful of photos from the day. Days 3 and 4 coming soon.

sxsw - day one.

2010-03-29T19:00:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've updated, and so much has happened. I left California in mid-March to head to Austin, TX, to photograph South by Southwest for San Francisco-based hip-hop magazine Oh Dang! Magazine. I met up with editor and writer Zoneil Maharaj to do a couple interviews and cover some of the hip-hop showcases. We started off the afternoon with Hollywood Holt, who was a total character and a really fun interview. Afterward, we stuck around the Beauty Bar to check out a showcase featuring Ninjasonik from Brooklyn, Yelawolf from Alabama, Chicago's Kid Sister, Dam-Funk of Los Angeles and a few others. It was a small venue, but a total blast! Great energy from the crowd and the performers alike.

While wandering the streets, I ran into Jim Merithew, one of my college mentors and a photo editor for Wired.com. We caught a set in the street by San Francisco's Ferocious Few, who I saw a few months ago at Hardly Strictly Bluegrass (and also on the street).

I ended up at the Fader Fort to meet up with JFP and check out the scene. I went up to the photo pit with him to catch the last set of the night, which ended up being Damian Marley and Nas. The light at the Fader Fort is always amazing, and it's a lot of fun to shoot there. Had a great dinner with JFP before heading to Ace's Lounge to catch one last hip-hop showcase with Zoneil. Sat through some interesting sets, including an unexpectedly entertaining performance by Kelley James where he covered (with an acoustic guitar) Kanye and Taylor Swift, and then proceeded to freestyle an intense diss on a couple in the audience. The night rounded out with performances by J Cole and Bun B.

All-in-all, a pretty epic night. Here are a bunch of photos from the night that I dug. Stay tuned for more updates... I swear I'll get 'em up quick!

tejas.

2010-03-17T01:50:00.000-07:00

Took a break from the west-coast life to meet up with some friends in Houston, TX. Photographer Todd Spoth and his lovely lady, Libby, have been gracious hosts. They put me up for a few nights, helped me find a new (used) car, took me to the park and to the rodeo, and showed me just how nice folks can be in the "Great Nation" of Texas.

Here are a few of my favorite frames from my Texan adventure... mostly from the carnival at the rodeo. Kite-flying, turkeys in pens with photos of their roasted fellows, powdered sugar fights and lots of other fun things. Now on to shoot South by Southwest in Austin tomorrow!

prism.

2010-02-19T19:09:00.000-08:00

While most people were watching the Super Bowl, a small group of folks were gathering for the annual anti-super-bowl punk show in Stockton. This year it was held at the Plea for Peace Center, and ran from the afternoon and into the evening.

I managed to make it out for the first time in a couple of years, and was stoked to see my friends' band, Hard Girls, was playing. So, I shot their set, but I tried something a little goofy, just for fun. I bought a toy, one of those little plastic prisms you look through that makes everything look like a bunch of tiny little versions of the scene. It cost me a 25-cent donation to Relay for Life, and was bright, lime green. Not sure how successful the shots are, but it was fun to mix things up a little. So here are a few shots I liked from the set, some with the toy and some without.

farming.

2010-02-10T19:45:00.000-08:00

I was really excited to spend an entire day photographing at Full Belly Farm in Guinda, CA, on Monday for the Wall Street Journal. The folks there were amazingly open, and let me wander around the farm to shoot anything I wanted. The weather was sunny for once, and all the animals had babies in the last few weeks, which is definitely a plus for my sappy, fuzzy-animal-loving side.

The article is live online here, so check it out!

And here are a few outtakes that I liked. Definitely one of my favorite assignments in a long time.

nyc: make-do

2010-01-24T23:41:00.000-08:00

Spent two days in NYC to support friends and fellow photographers in the opening night gallery show for Luceo & MJR titled "Make-Do." The show was amazing, the turnout was huge, and more than anything else it was great to see old, familiar faces. But there's nothing more lonely than going home after being around so much love. One of the hardest parts of this career path I've had to come to terms with is balancing the unsettling yet necessary solitude with the most tight-knit family of vagabonds I've ever had the pleasure of crossing paths with. The difference day-to-day is stark, but I can't say I'd trade it for anything in the world.

storm.

2010-01-19T04:13:00.000-08:00

nothing like howling winds in the middle of the night to make you feel alone and alive.

goodbye 2009.

2010-01-01T03:49:00.000-08:00

2009 was a year of introspection i think. one year ago i was just getting re-settled into california, starting on a new foot in sacramento. i was insecure, completely startled by how uncertain life could be and frightened by the prospect of an unclear future.

i'm not one to make resolutions. but if i were to go that way this year, i'd say this time around, it's time to get out of my head a little. it's time to live life a little more. it's time to put my heart full-force into my photographs and my relationships, because at the end of the year i want to look back and remember just how good it was, not how good it could have been.

so here's a slideshow of my favorite photos from 2009. some are from assignments, most are from life in general, but they are all special to me in their own way. so here's to the end of a good year, and the beginning of a better one.

hard girls.

2009-12-24T17:27:00.000-08:00

In the last few months, I've managed to get back in touch with some old friends from San Jose. I drove out there last weekend to check out some of these kids in their latest musical incarnation - Hard Girls. Morgan, Max and Mike all come from other bands (Pteradon and Shinobu, among others), and also play with frontman Jesse Michaels (of Operation Ivy fame) in another project called Classics of Love.

I was stoked to see these guys play again, even if it meant waiting in line for a couple of hours outside a small San Jose art gallery. They opened for punk legends (and sell-outs?) Against Me!, which brought a huge crowd of psyched kids and reminiscent adults. It was an awesome show, and great to see some old faces. Here are a few of my favorite photos from the night.

Hard Girls:

Against Me:

Bob holding up the speakers against the crowd:

Also, if you want to hear some songs by Hard Girls, check out Quote Unquote Records, where you can download their EP on a donation-only basis. So if you dig it, throw down a little cash, but if you can't afford it you can still enjoy the awesome.

thriller.

2009-10-31T03:15:00.000-07:00

Tonight, I got to shoot something I'd never thought would come my way... Friday night football! Um, wait, that's almost every Friday. This week, my regular assignment for my old paper, the Stockton Record, was better than I could have hoped - Halloween meets Homecoming game! The kids at Chavez High School in Stockton went all-out for their second-ever homecoming, with probably about 100 kids taking the field during halftime to perform a dance to "Thriller" as the marching band played the MJ hit. So rad! Who knew that song could sound so epic through tubas and flutes.

This kid was my favorite - he spelled out his name for me between drum beats:
Zombie cheerleaders, zombie band members, zombie choir... it was a lovely preface to Halloween.To top it off, I was stoked to finally be able to stay at a game long enough to shoot the homecoming procession! Unfortunately the court weren't dressed-up like the rest of their school, but it was pretty sweet all the same. We never did the big homecoming thing at my high school (would have helped to have a football team...), so it was exciting for me to see what all the fuss was about. And I have to say, the homecoming King really took the cake.
Sometimes I really love high school. Happy Halloween.

safe in the summer time.

2009-09-13T20:17:00.000-07:00

Spent a couple of days last week in SF visiting friends and decompressing. I love that even after 7 years of living in the city - or at least nearby - every time I go out, there's something I haven't seen before. A bunch of us hiked up in the hills by the Castro for a killer view of SF on a rare clear night. It makes me a little sad to see the summer fade into fall, because every night can't be a night like this.

iLL-Literacy

2009-08-23T17:40:00.000-07:00

Last week, I had the chance to do some promo shots for Bay Area-based hip-hop group iLL-Literacy. The boys were packing up to move to NYC, and were trying to wrap up a music video shoot and a photo shoot two days before getting in their van for the drive cross-country. I met them last year on a shoot for Hyphen Magazine, and had the pleasure of hanging out with them again at SXSW, so when they hit me up for this, I was stoked to work with them again.

They had life-sized Lego heads custom-made for the next leg of their promotion, including shows, which made the shoot fun and a little creepy at times. If I ran into three guys in dress clothes wearing giant Lego heads in an alley, I would probably run the other way. It was a great shoot, and definitely fun to hang out for a while before they left for the East Coast.

Here's some photos from their music video shoot, which included a diorama of a "club" for toys and action figures:And some of my favorites from the shoot:Playing tag in a field:Keep an eye out for their video, it's sure to be amazing. I even got to shoot a time-lapse section of it, which was hilarious. And give these guys a listen, the music is tight.

home is where the heart is.

2009-08-07T17:45:00.000-07:00

spent a few days last week down in ventura for the VJ Multimedia Workshop through the Brooks Institute of Photography. it was a lot of fun to get back in that workshop mentality again - pounding the pavement, reporting and editing on deadline, missing out on sleep, making new friends, and sharpening the skills that so quickly dull when you're not pushed by an editor for daily content.

here's the piece i put together. i met the Larimores at the Lemon Wood Mobile Home Community after previous story ideas fell through the cracks. Jo and Larry have been married for almost 60 years, and they were so open about letting me into their home and talking to me about the intimate aspects of their relationship. it was beautiful to interview them separately and hear them mirror each others' answers, to sit back as they finished each others' sentences, as they bantered and laughed and still remained so in love after all those years. so here's a small slice of their story.

the capacity for survival.

2009-07-04T23:27:00.001-07:00

on july 1st, one of my photos from tent city made the front page of aphotoaday.org. the timing was interesting, as that was the first day many of the former residents of tent city ended up facing life back on the streets after the shelter at cal expo closed for the summer.

i have been following one couple, jeannie and richard, from tent city to shelters to hotels, and hopefully to housing at some point. a few days before the end of the month, i went with them to the housing office to follow up on promises that had been made over the last several months. with only a few days before their options ran out, they were pretty emotional about being lead on for so long, only to be told their futures were still uncertain.after hours of waiting, several couples were offered one-week motel vouchers in south sacramento. the next day, the kennels where jeannie and richard had been housing their dog overnight also closed for the summer. because the motel wouldn't allow them to keep their dog with them (and because of safety issues that jeannie had expressed to her boyfriend), they dipped into the small amount of money they had and paid for a different hotel for a week.
that's where it stands for now. we'll see over the next few weeks if housing ends up pulling through in the end, or if these two will end up back on the street again. each day is a new waiting game, each day a new barrier to overcome. and each day, i am constantly surprised at the capacity that people have for survival.

beauty.

2009-06-25T23:32:00.000-07:00

starting a new project as things slow down. spent a few hours with some lovely ladies, iraqi refugees who are being sponsored through beauty school. they were super sweet, and i'm looking forward to spending more time with them. plus, i'm a sucker for photographing in salons - the light is usually really nice, and the walls always have a cool color. more to come soon.

brooklyn-bound.

2009-06-19T10:45:00.000-07:00

new york city, a second time around. not so scary. it's crazy to think that when i'm home, most of my time is spent shooting, working, hustling, and it takes a trip to a place 3000 miles away to see some of my closest friends. in a way, it's kind of nice because i'm forced to focus on my photography most of the year, and when i do see people i try to make the most of it. on the other hand, it gets lonely when there isn't much of an option to walk a few blocks and see a familiar face.

but enough with all that. nyc was filled with adventure. on wednesday i took a trip with brett and marcus out to free day at the bronx zoo. so many strollers out! but it was definitely worth it. especially when a loose peacock decided it would be fun to follow us around as we tried to find an exit. it took a special liking to marcus.the rest of the trip involved a lot of running around. caught a free show featuring the john spencer blues explosion at the seaport, dinner and drinks with old friends, buzzing through pouring rain to meet editors (with my soaking sneakers in a plastic bag, tied around my wrist), and thursday night art openings. all-in-all a successful trip. maybe even a little too short. but there will always be new york, and i think this town is finally working itself into a small spot in my heart.
now it's back to real life, whatever that is.

roaming.

2009-06-17T21:02:00.000-07:00

virginia to new york city. a 2-hour drive, a 4.5-hour bus ride, and an hour of subways. rolled into town well after midnight, worried the old anxieties would catch up to me and relieved to realize i was better prepared to handle this city, this time around at least.
so far, it's actually been a quiet pace for a city that never slows down. brooklyn to manhattan and back again every day, seeing old friends and tagging along on adventures with new ones. a lot of time alone on the subway. it's strange how different the commute is out here, compared to san francisco. back home, a BART ride was a somewhat shared experience for me, connected to fellow passengers, always without headphones. out here, even in a packed car, it still feels lonely. disconnected. but then again, that is my connection to this city so i suppose it translates into the daily commute.
staying with friend and fellow photographer bryan derballa, who has been my nyc guide now for a second time. a strange place never seems so scary with solid friends around. scenes from a rooftop party, fader-style:
met up with brett nelson aka sweet tooth nelson (see SXSW post) - he rocks some serious tunes that got me through two days of driving home from colorado - and some of his friends. got to see the mirror room. it only lasted a half-hour at most, but it was a night i couldn't have seen coming:and on to the next adventure.

virginia.

2009-06-17T08:07:00.000-07:00

for as much of a homebody as i am in day-to-day life, i keep finding myself living out of a suitcase and sleeping on couches. at least i've managed to see a new place on almost every trip.

this time the adventure took me to the look3: festival of the photograph in charlottesville, virginia. 3 days of galleries, pictures, old friends, and discussions about photography and the spinning decline of the industry. somehow, despite, it still managed to be positive and informative. you just can't beat early-summer rain, swimming in rivers, and some of the best photography in the world.

enjoy. more adventuring to come.

trinidad, CO

2009-05-23T16:32:00.000-07:00

in trinidad, colorado, for a week continuing to photograph a story documenting Elena Kelly's transition from male to female. her surgery was yesterday, and she is doing well. meanwhile, i'm editing through photographs from the last few months of shooting. update to come soon.

one year later.

2009-04-16T23:01:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's been a year, come and gone like one long dream. I feel guilty that I don't feel sad every day because you're not here. I used to, but now I keep myself busy so I won't have to think about how much I miss you. And I think you'd be alright with that, because every day I work, I hope to make you proud and you can see that.

But it would be better if you were here.

I miss you dad, and I love you.

tent city.

2009-04-13T00:29:00.000-07:00

a lot to process still, and the story doesn't wait. these folks out here have been so open, so welcoming, and i'm struggling to justify in my head how life can take you down one path just as easily as another.

more to come.

SXSW - last take.

2009-03-30T19:03:00.001-07:00

to round out about a week of music, walking and constant people-watching, Zoneil and myself dove head-first into one last day of action-packed SXSWing. after meeting up with some kids we knew, we followed them to catch a set by Ebony Bones, a British actress-turned-musician. the music was dance-y, and the outfits on her and her band were epic. this was definitely on my top 5 SXSW performances, both to watch and photograph.
this was drawn on the guitarist's hand:
eventually worked our way over to the South by Seattle showcase to catch some Northwest hip-hop care of Common Market and Blue Scholars:
closed out the evening with the lovely Erykah Badu way out on the outskirts of downtown. on the plus-side, the show was on an outdoor stage in the park and it was nice to get the fresh air. on the down-side, Badu was running late and only had time to perform two songs before rushing out to a performance at the Fader Fort on the other side of downtown. even so, those two songs were worth it. plus, it was fun to shoot with some real stage lights again.
following ms. Badu was a band i'd only barely heard of by name. Austin-based instrumental post-rock band Explosions in the Sky proved to be an incredible show. if you haven't heard of them, i would definitely check them out.
SXSW was a whirlwind experience. as much as i thought i knew what to expect, i realized very quickly that it was more overwhelming than i could have known. it was amazing to see so much music and to roam the streets with thousands of music fanatics. i'm looking forward to trying it all again next year. we'll see if this couple makes it back next year too:

SXSW - take 3

2009-03-24T21:21:00.000-07:00

day three of the seemingly-endless madhouse that is austin.

started out the day by catching a set by a new band from L.A. featuring friends Bryan Harris and Robin Fehr called The Nights. the band includes former members of the Hanks and Selegna Sol. they played at the Troubadour, and even though it was a mid-day show, there was a decent turnout. then it was on to the show i'd been counting down to the entire week: THE BOUNCING SOULS! they played at the Red 7, following Dillinger Four and a reunion show by Recover (Todd can tell you all about that show). the Souls is one of those bands i grew up listening to, and i've tried to see them every time they come to town. this year is their 20th anniversary, and funny enough, their first appearance on the SXSW lineup. P.O.S. made a special appearance to perform "Argyle" after watching the set from backstage. pretty funny that none of the punk kids in the audience had any idea who he was, but everyone was still into it, crowdsurfing and rocking out to every lyric.
Bryan 'Papillon' Kienlen's "born to lose" tattoo (and my favorite Souls song):
after Red 7, Todd, Chris and i wandered around, got some food and got off our feet for the first time in hours. we met up with Zoneil and ended up... yup, on 6th street again. this time we were delighted to find a faux-scuffle between two very drunk guys that consistently ended in one guy's face in the other's crotch. their friends hardly took notice of the ongoing fight.
we soon realized that the fighting was happening in front of the live soundstage where they film the drawings for the Texas Lottery. these folks were standing at the viewing window, hoping to be holding the winning numbers:
more waiting around, more watching people:
we saw this girl two nights in a row, and i was a big fan of her fashion choices. the first night, the jumpsuit was white and black, the second was gold and black. we were hoping to see her the last night, and were holding out for a glitter ensemble:ended up at the radio room to close out the night with a set by Canadian band Sebastien Grainger and the Mountains, followed by an overly-crowded set by Cursive. i never did manage to fight my way to the front for Cursive, but the performance was incredible either way.that closes out the third day. stay posted for one last update from SXSW.

SXSW - take 2

2009-03-23T14:03:00.000-07:00

sxsw... the adventure continues.

day 2 was spent doing even more people watching. i think that was one of my favorite parts of the entire trip, just sitting on the curb anywhere on 6th street and checking out all the characters who walked by. which is always a plus when you're waiting in a huge line to see a show that you never manage to actually get into... which is what happened when we tried to see Cursive the first time.

Todd and I caught up with Drew Anthony Smith of baltimore/Patuxent fame. Cursive was playing a free show at the radio room, but the line was so long that we just decided to stand at the window and listen from the street. we could see the back of the drummer, at least. haha.

Drew was too cool in his sweet shades:
so after that, we posted up on the curb to watch these girls hula-hooping to get people in the door of this restaurant. i was diggin' this girl's tattoo:then this other lady came in and took both the hula-hoops and busted out some Golden Gate Park-style hooping skills. i was really impressed that she kept it up for so long without hitting any of the passers-by on the crowded street:
wandered over to Maggie May's with Todd and Chris and accidentally caught a set by hardcore punk band Death by Stereo. i haven't heard of these guys in years, and the show was more epic than i could have imagined, never having seen them before.after the set, i met up with Zoneil to interview Blue Scholars at a sports bar downtown. what started out as a simple Q&A lasted about an hour, ending with Geologic turning the mic around on Zoneil and interviewing him back. saw these guys play twice this week, and ended up running into them a dozen times. they're a really tight hip-hop act from Seattle, i highly suggest checking them out.after the interview, i wandered the street and met up with my buddy Brett "Sweet Tooth" Nelson, from SF by way of Brooklyn. he was in austin playing street corners just for the hell of it, and it was fun to watch the passers-by stop and watch for a little while. i think he earned a quarter while i stood there. closed out the night at the Rhymesayers showcase at Habana. saw Idea and Abilities, P.O.S. with special appearances by Sims and Dessa from Doomtree. everyone was going crazy, and it was awesome for a girl like me, who grew up listening to punk and not much hip-hop, to hear P.O.S. singing and Operation Ivy song. afterward, Zoneil and i tried to catch a set by the Bar-Kays, but the line was too long and we couldn't get in, so we people watched some more and called it a night.

still more to come.

SXSW - take 1

2009-03-22T18:56:00.000-07:00

spent the last five days shooting at South by Southwest in Austin, TX. i was expecting it to be a little crazy, just like any other music festival. but i have to say i was wrong; it was definitely more madness than i could have imagined. now that the festival is officially wrapped up and i have more than 10 minutes to go through photos, i figured i'd finally get to blogging about the whole experience. here goes with the first day's events.

WEDNESDAY:

i arrived in Austin on tuesday afternoon with Zoneil, editor-in-chief/writer for Oh Dang! Magazine back in SF. we got our wristbands and tags for my cameras, and made a game plan for the following week. started fresh on wednesday, meeting up with Todd Spoth and checking out Wavves at Emo's. i'd been hearing about this kid from fellow photographer Jason Fritz, and the live show was a great way to start out the day.
then wandered 6th street for a while before meeting up with the kids from iLL-Literacy and heading to the fader fort to get wristbands and see what was going on there.Adriel, iLL-Literacy, in line at the Fader Fort:later that evening, caught a hip-hop showcase at the back alley social. really tight show. saw Doomtree, U-N-I, Blue Scholars, Common Market, Blu, and a few others. caught up with U-N-I for an interview for Oh Dang!, stood in the street to people watch, ate tacos from a truck, chilled with some rappers and DJs, then hiked back downtown.Sims, Doomtree:Cecil Otter, Doomtree:Dessa, Doomtree:Sabzi, Common Market/Blue Scholars:Geologic, Blue Scholars:Geologic and Bambu, rockin' the taco truck:after some debate, and my futile attempts to convince everyone i knew out here to come along, Zoneil, Todd, Chris and i went to see Billy Bob Thornton & the Boxmasters at Smokin' Music. i know, i know, Billy Bob Thornton's band? i have a soft spot in my heart for that country-music twang, so the novelty of the performance was too much to pass up. even Matthew McConaughey was there! haha.

at one point, the very small woman standing in front of me slipped Billy Bob a note, at which point he stopped the band mid-verse. on the paper was scrawled "I can't hear your voice!"

"Whoa, stop, hold on a second," he says. "First of all, you never slip a note to a musician as they're starting a song. Second, there's these big, black boxes on each side of the stage called 'speakers'. If you can't hear my voice, it's probably because you're standing at the center of these speakers. Or maybe it's because you're in a CLUB. If you really want to hear the vocals, you might be better off buying a CD."

HAHA.

then he continued to hassle the poor lady by leaning into her face and enunciating every word to every song, and at one point even spoke the words to the entire next song before singing it. and throughout it all, she meekly held up her camera and took photos. what a trooper.wrapped up the night around 2:30 with a little more people-watching, some photo editing, and planning for the next day. stay tuned for more bloggage from SXSW.

ALSO check out Oh Dang! Magazine for more photos and play-by-play breakdowns of the madness.

leftovers.

2009-02-15T02:17:00.001-08:00

trying to play catch-up with my blog, and i suppose with my life in general. here are some photos from a show at the newly-opened Plea for Peace Center in stockton last month. it was a small show but it was an excuse to see a few old friends and listen to fun music. i got there late, but just in time to catch a set by the andrew jackson jihad, a rad little two-piece from phoenix. Plea for Peace has been the baby of my good friend, middagh goodwin, and it's been incredible to watch it grow from a hopeful idea to a fully-functional venue.

so here's to dreams coming true with some photos from the show.

celebrate.

2009-01-27T16:30:00.000-08:00

a few days ago, hung out with some friends to celebrate jeff's birthday. a simple occasion, pizza and drinks in SF, warrants a simple post. although i have to say, there was some interesting art on display at the bar so be warned.

happy birthday, kid.

obamination.

2009-01-20T14:20:00.000-08:00

in the words of fellow photographer todd spoth, happy change day.

stayed my first night in sacramento last night so i could spend the morning with congregation members of st. paul's baptist church in the oak park district for the inauguration. the energy was amazing, everyone was cheering and crying and praying, it was really beautiful. thanks to st. paul's for inviting the community out and allowing me to share the historic moment in my new city.here's to a new president.

tear sheet.

2009-01-15T01:18:00.000-08:00

a break from the regular blogging to say i was published in FADER this month... so awesome!

the road home.

2009-01-14T01:44:00.000-08:00

i didn't manage to leave florida until close to 6 pm on the day after christmas, despite my best efforts. that meant an 11-hour drive to my first stop in houma, louisiana. i arrived at just about 4:30 am thanks to the time difference, and promptly fell asleep on the couch at the home of the wonderful misty mcelroy. the next morning, i jumped in the car with misty and far too much luggage of my own, and we were off to california. a solo road trip is fun, but having company is always better.the first stop was houston, tx. second visit, round-trip. this time we spent the evening visiting with fellow photographer todd spoth and his crazy friends. an evening of fireworks, jam sessions of songs i've loved since high school, and burnt hair. houston is on my texas must-stop list forever.after houston was a 12-hour drive into the wee hours of the morning, arriving in tuscon, arizona, at close to 5 am. james gregg was kind enough to pull himself out of bed at the crack of dawn to greet us and provide us with a couch-fort to sleep the morning away on. after a quick (and late) breakfast and an even quicker goofy portrait session, we hit the road again. next stop: california. home.
the last stretch of drive seemed like the longest. almost 6 weeks away from california didn't seem like a long time, but driving back through my hometown of los angeles, it felt like i'd been away for years. for all my anxiousness to leave california, i have to say that it was nice to come back to a familiar place. i guess no matter how long you leave, home is always going to be home. and in some ways, it's good to be back... at least for now.

countdown.

2009-01-03T15:22:00.001-08:00

so much to catch up on since the last post. i'll do my best to fit it all in.

the last week of florida was jam-packed. visited fellow photographer brandon kruse and his new puppy, mika, in west palm beach, saw an Elvis impersonator serenade a bar of gawkers, drinkers and senior citizens, and finally stopped in to see what dinosaur world was all about.
made one last stop in sarasota to see another photographer, luanne dietz, who was visiting her hometown for the holidays. saw a little more of the town and watched her friends explode a massive bbq fire in their backyard.
spent christmas in west palm, which included an almost-million-dollar car, awesome food, a ton of people in the street, several movies (including willy wonka and the chocolate factory and home alone), and general good times. after all that, i packed up for the 4-day drive back to california. close to 4 weeks in florida and a ridiculous amount of memories. thanks again to the incredible melissa lyttle for giving up a room in her home to me, and thanks to all the folks i met or saw again.
florida, you're rid of me for now, but not forever.

found.

2008-12-16T15:07:00.000-08:00

i was cleaning out my camera bag and i found a CF card with lost photos from the road trip so far. i love it when that happens, it's almost better than finding an extra dollar in your jeans.

so here is my addendum to the road-trippin'. this leg includes bowling in tampa and exploring atlanta:
and special thanks to my gracious hostess, melissa lyttle, for offering up her home to me out here in florida. and also special thanks to her lovely dog emma for her wet-nose nuzzles.

atl.

2008-12-16T13:17:00.000-08:00

the road trip continues...

some snapshots and polaroids from the atlanta photojournalism seminar a couple weeks ago. photo talk, seeing old friends and meeting new ones always makes for a good weekend.

quote.

2008-12-15T15:54:00.000-08:00

i read this quote at the end of william albert allard's introduction to his book, "portraits of america," when i was in south dakota and i just can't shake it. it goes back to this post i made when i was in nyc a few months ago, and allard just says it so much better than i ever could. here goes.

"in truth, all these subjects were serious love affairs, first loves, some of them. you can have more than one of those in a photographic life. first loves tend to die hard. they may not -- and often don't -- last, but when they are over they leave something of themselves within you forever. and i have the photographs to prove it."

thank you, mr. allard.

the end...

2008-12-15T15:11:00.000-08:00

...of an era.
i've spent the last year-and-a-half photographing for 209 Vibe, and online and print publication that sprung from the bowels of my old paper and from the minds of a handful of younger staff. we were dedicated to covering the local art, music and entertainment scene in the valley, which provided for some late nights and a lot of screamo/hip-hop shows and bar reviews. it was definitely a great opportunity for me to stretch my photography, both in regard to lighting and in general. i mean, when you have to shoot 3 bar reviews in a week, you have to learn to show things differently, right?

anyway, i was grateful for the opportunity to shoot for 209 Vibe while i was a staffer at the paper, as well as for the last 6 months as a freelancer when i was laid off. sometimes it was a challenge, but it was a challenge i wouldn't have given up. so i'm sad to say goodbye to the little publication with the staff that ran my photos huge, even if they were too "edgy" for the newspaper, who loved my story pitches and let me run with them, and who encouraged something different with every assignment. so here are probably more photos than you need to see, but some of my favorite shots and assignments from the last 18+ months.
if you're in the central valley of california, keep an eye out for our final issue in january.

happy birthday.

2008-12-08T18:31:00.000-08:00

i still think about you every day.

shuffle.

2008-11-30T20:55:00.000-08:00

florida is so much like california. it's almost scary to think i drove 3000 miles to end up in a place that's so much like home. i love it.
thanks to the lovely melissa lyttle for hosting me for this extended visit, and for pointing me in the direction of my first order of business.... shuffleboard! with my love of cable-knit cardigans, oversized sunglasses and knitting, it only made sense that while in florida, i should learn to play this awesome game. so i went to the friday night shuffle at the st. petersburg shuffleboard club, armed with a camera and no expectations. what i found were at least 30 people, young and old, playing numerous games of shuffleboard fairly late into the night. i talked to joyce, an older woman and a member of the league, and she invited me to play a game with some of the folks there. i have to say i abandoned my camera for some good old-fashioned fun! if you ever find yourself in st. petersburg with no plans on a friday night, it's a must-see event.hooray for florida.

water.

2008-11-30T20:43:00.001-08:00

drove down to sarasota today to see a little more of florida, and have been almost non-stop drenched by some crazy rain. so much for sunny florida.

as i was killing some time and editing through photos from the trip so far, i realized that i rarely had the chance to see the sunset... and then i realized that so much of what i ended up photographing for the last couple days has only been the sunset. sunset and water. i guess that's what happens when you're so close to the water.

maybe it's too many photos, but i can't stop loving this open-water sunset weather. enjoy.

bay to bay.

2008-11-27T21:32:00.000-08:00

made it to tampa in one piece. nothing like a 5-day drive to put your life into perspective. keeping this short; here are some photos.

spent a day wandering houston. saw a house made of beer cans, a giant armadillo, had some pecan pie, and took pictures of the big buildings:
drove into louisiana and stayed with friend and photographer misty mcelroy in houma:
next morning was the home stretch, driving through mississippi and alabama before finally reaching the panhandle and the rest of florida. got lost in mobile, alabama, and stopped in daphne to take some sunset photos:
then on to tampa in time for the holiday:
the trip is done, but i'm really thinking the journey's only beginning. happy thanksgiving, y'all.

rollin'

2008-11-24T11:59:00.001-08:00

six months ago, i would never have believed that i would be driving across the country for the first time in my life. and i would definitely never have believed i would be doing that alone.

today marks the third day in a trip that i've decided is my chance to live the exciting, youthful adventure i always wondered if i'd missed out on in the past. it's been my chance to really think about my life, re-evaluate how far i've come and how much farther i am willing to push myself. it's been being cooped up in my little car for far too many hours, taking pictures out the window of the darkened landscape and hoping the wind doesn't push me too far onto the shoulder. it's been a playlist of songs i haven't heard since high school that are my safety blanket as i hit unknown territory, singing loud enough for folks in passing cars to turn their heads and stare. it's been freedom and fear, excitement and too much caffeine.

it's been the realization that i am wholly in control of and responsible for my life. and it's been beautiful.

so i left san francisco as the sun set on friday, rolling into phoenix at 4:30 am. stayed with my good friend jason fritz, who i haven't seen since i moved to stockton and he moved all over the country doing photo internships. took it easy in AZ for a while, then left that evening to drive overnight to el paso. crossing state lines in the dead of night, no lights at all until i hit the texas/mexico border and could see juarez on the other side of the freeway. stayed at the shadiest motel i've ever been in, tried to sleep off the caffeine but instead worried if i'd be murdered in my sleep. fell asleep at sunrise, then got up to drive to houston. weimar, texas (this one's for you, mike!):

west texas was the first place of this trip that i was able to actually see while i was driving. somewhere in that desert between high noon and sunset, seeing nothing but truck-stop towns and cacti, i felt free. and as cliche as it sounds, i felt alive. the last six months have been a rollercoaster of ups but mostly downs, and it was incredible to feel totally happy for the first time all year.

two more days for the rest of this trip. florida, here i come.

dia.

2008-11-15T15:57:00.000-08:00

a little late on this post, but i wanted to share some photos all the same. a couple weeks ago, i finally was able to shoot the dia de los muertos procession in the mission district of SF. it was epic! i knew it was big, but i don't think i realized just how many thousands of people show up on that night to parade the streets in costume and face paint to celebrate the holiday. day of the dead has always been one of my favorite holidays to celebrate and photograph, so it was a pleasure to finally do it in san francisco.

here are a few from the evening.

studio 2.

2008-11-13T16:13:00.000-08:00

i went back yesterday to different fur studios for another night of photographing the week-long studio session for the southern-california band, Media. three days of almost 24-hour sessions had started to take its toll on all involved. everyone was tired and/or hopped up on coffee and the occasional beer, which lead to some really funny interactions. here are some of my favorites from the night. it's a shame i have some assignments to shoot for the next few days, because i'm sure it would be even more entertaining during the final day home-stretch.

burt was trying to nap as jordan sang along to the recorded tracks so far:bryan rocks out:during some down time, burt got creative with an oil pen:all you need to record a full-length album:joe gives bryan lessons in rockstardom:and remember, coffee is your friend as exhaustion sets in:
burt and friends have fun with tape as it gets closer to midnight:
<3.

studio.

2008-11-12T22:14:00.000-08:00

spent a couple days this week in san francisco photographing the studio sessions for this band from rialto called Media. i swear, they are the cutest kids i've ever seen or had the pleasure of photographing. my buddy, joe, is producing their first full-length album at different fur studios in SF. never gotten to photograph, much less witness, the behind-the-scenes of recording an album, and it's been incredible. makes me miss playing in bands back in high school.

so here's some photos of the kids and the folks who make the magic happen. enjoy.
it was bryan's birthday on the first day of recording, so they got him a lil piece of cake:
good grooves, good people, all-in-all good times.

south dakota.

2008-11-03T21:19:00.001-08:00

adventures in south dakota were so much more relaxed than nyc. got to see barker, who is about to hit her first anniversary as a staff photographer for the Rapid City Journal. spent the few days there catching up on sleep, playing fetch with her dog, moco, drinking coffee and experimenting with ear candles. yes, ear candles. quote of the trip was taken from the ear candle instruction paper: "never endeavour to candle alone." indeed.
went thrifting and saw this beautiful land camera. i only wish i had a more disposable income, room in my suitcase, and film to fit.
moco still thinks he is a puppy, so he likes to jump in your lap even though he's probably close to 70 lbs now:adventures in ear candling:
exploring rapid city and accompanying ms. barker on her first classroom speech:
never made it to rushmore, but i guess that's incentive to go back to visit! loved the excitement, but it's good to be (somewhat) home again.

nyc.

2008-11-03T19:44:00.000-08:00

life has been a crazy whirlwind of madness for the last week, so now i will try to make up for it with far too many posts in a short amount of time. thank goodness for free wireless!

as promised, here are some photos from the eddie adams workshop / new york city / south dakota adventure that swept me away for two incredible weeks. for all the anxiety-ridden sleepless nights that lead up to the trip, it was more fun than i could have imagined. the workshop was wild, just a bunch of incredible photographers from all over the world in this tiny town in upstate new york. it was inspirational to listen to speeches by photographers i've looked up to for years, to see old friends and to finally put faces to names that go with pictures i've seen on blogs and in newspapers. and much thanks to the family i photographed while there, who kindly let a total stranger from california into their lives to photograph them for two days. all-in-all, just as exhausting as i imagined, but well worth it.

in the interest of keeping this post short-ish, commentary will be minimal for the sake of the HUGE amount of photos. well, huge for me at least.

so here are a few from the workshop:
my favorite photo from the Bury family story:friend & incredible photographer amelia phillips at the giant bonfire on the last night:i wasn't kidding about the exhaustion. just ask jessica and maxon:from there was the great NYC adventure. everyone was racing to meet editors and see the city, which, by the way, was so much bigger than i ever thought. many, many thanks to bryan and his roommates for putting me up for a week, you kids are awesome.
a lot of time was spent on the subway:a rad banksy exhibit at the village pet shop and charcoal grill:
portrait session on the roof of paul's apartment, which is a great way to spend a night in any city when photographers are around:
and one EPIC adventure to rockaway with alex. there are so many things to be said about this adventure, but i don't have the words to explain it. we might do a slideshow with our own voiceover to tell the story.... and then again, we might not. but if you get to hear the story from one of us, be prepared for hilarity that comes with weeks of sleep deprivation:so that's it for NY. i'll follow up with a few funny photos from adventures with one of my best friends ever, photographer kristina barker, in south dakota. so here's one last photo from new york that i think sums up my feelings about the whole trip. at the lorimer station of the L line:

fear.

2008-10-22T00:34:00.001-07:00

new york city.

it's the one place on the planet i really never wanted to go. the one place that, upon finding out i would have to visit, made me lose sleep for at least a month. for as long as i can remember, i've had this unfounded fear of the hustle-and-bustle of nyc. so many people. so many places to go. so much rush. the thought of it always left me with a knot in my stomach and an unshakable anxiety.

then the worst possible thing happened: i was accepted into the eddie adams workshop. don't get me wrong, being accepted into the workshop was an incredible honor, and was something i'd hoped for almost desperately over the last few years. but it meant i would have to face my fear of the big, scary apple.

i'll post more later about the actual experience there, but for now i can say i survived. but there was one thing that shook me worse than i would have expected, and it set the tone for a week of madness that i had doubts i would make it through. sitting on that plane, staring at the neverending lights of nyc, i wished so badly i could call my dad for strength. it was the worst thing i could imagine, facing that terrifying, gaping city without the safety net of his consoling words. and even though the last few months have eased from sadness into the comfort of forced ignorance, this one moment just about broke me.

i had a conversation with a friend in the city about personal loss and its toll on your photography. i figure that, in this case, there are two kinds of people. there are the people that take that loss as a sign that life is short and run head-first into every experience from that point forward. then there are people, like myself, who internalize that loss. every day that i photograph, every person i meet on assignment, every picture i take, i fall in love a little bit. i think that if you really love this job, you have to. but with every love, there is loss when you have to leave, when you're not sure if you'll see that person again. so every day is a little love and a little loss, over and over again. so while some people are loving and losing and embracing that, i find myself hesitant to initiate that cycle again because i'm almost paralyzed with the fear of those little losses.

i love to take pictures, and i love that i can almost survive by doing exactly what i love. but for the last few months i've found myself too scared to do it. and if there's anything worse than fear of loss, it's the realization that you've already lost and you have no idea how to save it.

ballers.

2008-09-27T01:34:00.000-07:00

another friday night, another football game. i chose to photograph the edison/franklin game, and man it was close for a while. i have a soft place in my heart for edison since my first basketball season in stockton. i lucked into photographing many of the team's games that year, and was able to follow them to the championships in sacramento, where they had a heartbreakingly-close loss. since then, i've taken any chance to photograph edison athletics. those kids sure have heart.

so here are a few shots from tonight's game.

this kid got a gnarly wound, dripping blood down his hand right off the field. he was a trooper though, and managed to keep his cool fairly well until the paramedics got to him.

love.

2008-09-21T21:13:00.000-07:00

had the great pleasure of photographing the wedding of a friend-of-several-friends out in marin county this weekend. one of the most beautiful/entertaining/fun shooting evenings i've experienced in a long time. here's a couple outtakes from the night.

congrats to the happy couple, you crazy kids. and thanks for allowing me to share in the good times.

friday night lights.

2008-09-12T22:08:00.000-07:00

it's been a year since i've had the privilege of covering friday night football. i'm not a huge fan of the sport itself, but i love going to the high school games, just for the atmosphere. neither my high school nor my college had football teams, so i never got to experience going to a game with a bunch of friends after class to cheer on the team for no other reason than they're your home team.

tonight i got to cover St. Mary's catholic school, and i have to say, i really dig that school's spirit. at every game, for every sport, there's at least 50 kids in face-paint or costume, all school colors, cheering and jeering from beginning to end. and as a photographer it's great because everyone's so enthralled by the action, they have very little time to worry about me taking their photo.

so here's to tonight's blow-out... i'm just bummed that because of deadline i never get to stay until the end. one of these days, i hope to. just to see what happens.

party.

2008-09-09T20:07:00.000-07:00

spent some time this weekend trying to get out. i almost always find myself in these social situations - bars, parties, wherever - sticking to the side with my camera in-hand, snapping photos to try and understand what exactly i'm watching. it's usually pretty entertaining, and it feeds my mild obsession with photographing that ever-vague notion of "youth culture."

what can i say? sometimes it's fun to be a fly-on-the-wall when everyone else is having fun.

free.

2008-09-01T01:02:00.001-07:00

as much as i hate to admit it, freelance is a much scarier beast than i first gave it credit for. i love the idea of dedicating all the time in the world to projects that i feel make a difference to my community, love setting my own schedule and rate, love that the only thing keeping me back is myself. but that is the problem, too: you are only as successful as you can motivate yourself to be. with no daily deadlines and no newsroom to keep you motivated, every day gets harder and harder to get out there.

after going to the A Photo A Day conference in st. petersburg, fl, this year, i got a better understanding of the freelance gig. most of your time is spent promoting, researching, editing, marketing, calling, emailing... and very little of your time is actually spent shooting. honestly, it's been quite a reality check coming to terms with that.

but every day gets a little better. calls are trickling in slowly. some projects are in the works. and i still get to photograph a few times a month for 209 Vibe. i miss the newsroom and the excitement (even if it was mostly just me) of the daily grind, but maybe there's something to this freelance thing, once you get used to it. at least now i know if i make it, it's because i worked for it; if i don't, i can't blame anyone but myself.

so here are some photos from the last month. looking forward to the exciting prospect of an unknown future.

meteors.

2008-08-18T11:32:00.000-07:00

sometimes i have those nights where i realize just how much i love california.

as a native, born and bred in this state, i find myself getting antsy to move somewhere else. but then there are those moments when i feel more at home than ever. and, when my friend mikey invited me to go with his friends out to the fields around lodi to watch the meteor shower at midnight the other day, i had a moment when i felt truly at home here in the central valley.

the photos are far from perfect. i never did catch a meteor on camera. but it was still beautiful. sometimes all it takes is some kids, a guitar, and an old VW bus to make you appreciate home.

unity.

2008-07-30T13:05:00.000-07:00

to start off a whirlwind two weeks of jetsetting across the country for no real reason, i went to the UNITY conference in chicago, il, to learn more about the business, be inspired, talk to people about the state of the industry... and most importantly, to shoot.

i find myself a little out of my element at conferences, trying to make a good first impression on the movers and shakers in the journalism world. so when i don't know what to do with myself, i take refuge behind my camera. luckily, UNITY has a shoot-out for photographers and other journalists, giving us just about 48 hours to explore the city and take some pictures along a theme. this year's them was "diversity in chicago" so i split from the conference for an entire day to wander humboldt park, known as a largely puerto rican community that is dealing with impending gentrification. not the best work ever, not the best work for 24 hours wandering the streets, but there's nothing like talking to folks about their daily lives and sitting in the livingrooms of strangers to ground you when the going gets rough.
more to come from adventures in DC and St. Petersburg.

escape.

2008-07-10T18:26:00.000-07:00

partly to celebrate my 23rd birthday and partly to escape everything i've been carefully juggling for the last few months, i hitched a ride with friend and fellow photographer heidi huber to portland, oregon, to visit friends and talk photo. thanks much to the incredible hospitality of sol neelman and thomas patterson. and bruce, true to our conversation, i will find a way to save us all.

so here are a few photos. and back to real life.

happy father's day.

2008-06-15T20:53:00.000-07:00

I have been trying to muster up the courage to make this post, and I figured there would be no better time than Father’s day.
Since February, I have been traveling back and forth between Stockton and my hometown, Los Angeles, to spend time with my father. In October of last year, he was diagnosed with stage two cancer in his bladder. After surgery, the doctors were almost certain they’d contained the disease, but close to Christmas, he’d started to have violent dizzy spells and trouble speaking. Another visit to the doctor revealed two brain tumors. In February, he underwent brain surgery, and I spent a week in the hospital by his side, leaving to go back to work once he was safely home. Since then, it had been an ongoing cycle of find-the-tumor-and-take-it-out, only to have another appear somewhere else.
In early April, I got a phone call late on a Friday night. My father was back in the hospital, this time in ICU. He’d had trouble getting up that morning, and even more trouble breathing. The nurse on the phone couldn’t tell me anything other than he was stable, so early Saturday morning, I made the drive back home yet again. He was kept under, hooked up to a breathing machine and numerous IVs. First he was stable. Then he got a little better. Then he got a little worse, but was still pretty stable.
After almost a week of hospital beds and countless nurses, things took a slight turn for the worst. I’d had little sleep, if any, and most of that was upright in a chair, my head on his hospital bed with a television droning in the background. A doctor came in the room, a new doctor. Dad’s kidneys were starting to fail, and if the clouds in his lungs turned out to be cancer and not pneumonia, it was up to me to decide how much longer his body would have to fight. I didn’t know what to do, so I decided to get some air. I gave my dad a kiss, told him I loved him and I’d be right back, took a picture of his room to show him later, then I walked outside to smoke a cigarette in the parking lot.
Fifteen minutes later, I walked back into the hospital. A doctor was being paged. The name was familiar. Code blue, ICU. It didn’t register until I reached the ICU doors, and a man in a suit greeted me. He asked if I was the daughter. I said yes, and at that moment it clicked. Dad was coding, his heart had stopped. As I sobbed in the lobby, a nurse came out and said she was sorry. They let me in the ICU in time to watch several doctors and even more nurses crowded into the cubicle, trying to zap his heart into action. It felt like an hour, but was hardly one minute, and he was gone.
When I went home in February, I asked my dad if he’d mind if I photographed his time in the hospital. I told him I needed to do it to process it all. He agreed, and consistently joked about not making him look like an idiot. When I went back for the last visit, it was too hard to shoot. I instead spent the time talking to him, more like talking AT him, since he was never conscious.
I’d hoped to post something sooner, but looking at the photos has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I couldn’t even pick up my camera for two weeks after his death. Every time I tried, the back screen would flash that photo, the last one I took before walking out of that room and the last photo I took while he was alive. Hooked up to machines, under florescent lights. Sterile and lonely.
For most of my life, my father was everything I had. I still believe he is. As a child, he treated me with respect, and as an adult, I was his equal. There was a connection beyond parental; he was my best friend. He played the role of both parents since I was a teenager, and though we often had our differences, he was always there to help me pick up the pieces.
In a situation this emotional, the first person I would normally call would be him. It’s so hard to start to call, only to hear the automated voice telling me the number is disconnected. He gave me every opportunity, and supported me through late-night homework, multiple breakups, moving to San Francisco, changing majors, chasing dreams. With all he’d done for me, I wish there was something I could have done to help him.
I can’t bring myself to decide on a gravestone. All the options seem so fake. Sunday, Father’s day, was the first time since his passing that I was able to force myself to go to the cemetery. The plastic marker was so small, insignificant. I wish I could replace it, but I feel so drained from planning a funeral and planning a burial. I can’t confront talking to another Director about details.
So on Father’s day, I thought it was time to confront the photos I took, to confront the emotion I have tried to ignore for two months. Two months, and it hasn’t gotten any easier. I hear that there’s hope, though. So here’s to hoping.

I love you, daddy.

Keith Derron Zambelich

8 December 1949 – 16 April 2008.

talib.

2008-03-29T17:57:00.000-07:00

been trying to work through some personal projects and post them up here, but as most things go that are close to your heart, it's taking a while.

in the meantime i will fulfill the need to blog by posting some photos from the talib kweli show last night. it was a monstrous disaster in some respects, but ultimately it was an excellent concert. started off with local spoken word and beatboxing, then onto righteous movement, then kweli himself.

pretty cool to stand about 5 feet away from such excellence. even if i could only photograph him for 5 minutes.

headless.

2008-03-03T21:00:00.000-08:00

just a little something from the fringe of a political function.

made obvious by the giant flag, i'm sure.

superbowl-you-over.

2008-02-03T20:10:00.000-08:00

today i got to spend some time photographing people watching the super bowl. which is actually pretty sweet considering it seemed like i was the only person in town who didn't care to watch the game.

so i hung out with these two families during their super bowl "party" which included the dads watching the game as the kids did their best to distract them.
and the best part! before i left, one of the kids drew this for me:
sometimes this job is so awesome.

the ever-living ghost of what once was.

2008-01-31T15:37:00.000-08:00

from a funeral i photographed this morning. the service was for a 16-year-old boy who was stabbed in a park, then rode his bike up the street only to collapse and die in a stranger's arms. the details around his death are still being investigated.

the service was huge and beautiful, a catholic ceremony in the south side of town. it's almost the anniversary of the death of another local teen, manuel, whose service was at the very same church. different family, different set of details, but the same sadness one year apart.

the whole thing's tumbling down.

2008-01-31T15:08:00.000-08:00

in my sixteen months as a staff photographer, there are days that i feel like i am finally getting a handle on this business of newspapers. most of the time, however, i realize this monster is bigger than i thought.

let me preface this by saying that i do not know anything about running a newspaper as a business. i do not think in terms of ad revenue, salaries, investors, numbers. i can think in terms of readers, column-widths and stories. i realize that at almost 2 years, i might still be a little too bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for my own good.

i'll be the first to admit i don't understand how half the staff can quit and the newsroom is emptier than a dive on a tuesday night while we're on the block to be sold, yet we're still losing enough money in ad revenue to prompt what eventually could be the absorption of the entire paper into one sheet. okay, it's not that bad, but what's stopping it from going that far?
newspapers as we know it may be a dying industry, just like everyone says. i might be at the first and last traditional paper i'll ever work for. somehow, though, i've managed to hit a relative calm. everyone says, "things are so uncertain," but in the greater scope of life, when are things really that concrete? i'm not afraid to lose my job in the sense of losing my ability to tell stories through my photography. but i am uneasy about losing the venue in which to communicate with and affect change within this community.
recently i had a talk with fellow photojournalist jared soares about home and the waves of longing for that basement room in your parent's house when you were fourteen and only had to worry about the next day's homework. when i get "homesick" in stockton, it's not for my physical childhood house. i miss the confidence and certainty that anything lay ahead, and the promise of a bright future. not to say i've given up, but when things get overwhelming, it's understandable to wish for better times.
sometimes i miss being a kid and making "big" decisions that carried no real weight in the long run. this is probably why, lately, i've been content for the most part to photograph those "grip and grin" situations. even when the photographs aren't spectacular, i find myself feeding on the excitement of the people i'm photographing. its payoff is twofold: not only does it help me gain perspective on my own life, it forces me to spend more than the requisite ten minutes to get that "newspaper quality" shot to fill the hole left open by page designers. every now and then i'll get a photograph i'm happy with an hour or two after i normally would have left. and i've come to terms with the fact that 95% of the time my captions are cut dramatically shorter and the photos run one column wide because i was given the opportunity to spend an hour of my day thinking about someone other than myself, listening to someone other than my own head.

two days late, far too short.

2007-12-27T14:55:00.001-08:00

it's two days after christmas. two days after the most emotionally taxing holiday i've experienced so far. spent most of the day cleaning house to bide my time and distract myself from thinking too much.

so now it's taken two days before i could gather my thoughts enough to make this post.

this post is a belated christmas gift, of sorts, to my foster brother, anthony.

the last time i saw anthony was christmas of 2005. i was home from college for a few days, and for the first time i felt brave enough to tell my father i was spending most of that time driving around with anthony. exploring los angeles with my 6-foot-tall hispanic transvestite foster brother. my brother who'd legally changed his name for the last ten years to Marie Antoinette, and who only let a few select people refer to him by his birth name. my brother who'd battled with homelessness, drug abuse, alcoholism, sexuality and discrimination, but who still lovingly called me "little sis" when introducing me to his friends after sneaking me into a gay bar when i was less than a year shy of my 21st birthday.

we spent those few days doing nothing and doing everything. i met his friends. his manicurist. went with him to the clinic to get prescriptions and re-start hormone treatments so he could get back on track with his yet incomplete sex change. drove him around the east side to every liquor store, where he would buy single-shots and down them before getting back into the car. stood at the doorway of the house where they filmed "six feet under" - his favorite tv show - on christmas eve, arguing if it would be rude to knock when the family that lived there was likely in bed. hung out at his apartment with his roommate and their many cats, thumbing through photo albums of his friends, many of whom died in the 80s during the AIDS epidemic. talked about the years we'd missed in-between, and how proud he was that i was in college and on my way to a "real career." told me he was glad i'd moved to san francisco, because now i would understand him more. told me he loved me as if we were blood.

and the whole time he let me take pictures of him and his life, of our adventures, because i'd had my archives and computer stolen days before, and had to start my college career from scratch.

so this post is dedicated to him. yes, sappy, i know. but i hadn't seen anthony since christmas 2 years ago, hadn't heard his voice since a phone conversation last christmas, and this christmas he's gone.

michael anthony soto passed away in march of 2007 at the age of 42, and this was the first christmas in my life that i couldn't do our annual catch-up. with no family around, this year was the hardest yet.

the pictures don't do him justice, but this is anthony. you are dearly missed.

windows.

2007-12-24T17:18:00.000-08:00

in response to a recent blog post by fellow photographer jared soares, here are some window light portraits. well, portraits and candid portraits.

i thought i'd shot a ton more of these, but then realized i actually rarely utilize the simple window-light portraits because everyone does them, and usually they do them better than i can think to in a pinch. but there's something really soft and beautiful about the quality of light... maybe i should think to try it more often.

...because sometimes window light is the best light. and you can bet it's usually the cheapest.

isolated view.

2007-12-20T17:22:00.000-08:00

it's the end of the year, and that means digging through about 70 DVDs of archived photos to compile a year-end photo gallery for the paper.

editing is always the hardest part for me. much harder than taking photos. there's always attachment to the shots you work the hardest to get, even if they're not the best. there's the photos you really like, but no one else really sees why. and there's the "artsy" photos where you think you really pushed the envelope and did something different, even though paolo pellegrin or eugene richards did it long before you were a twinkle in your parents' eyes.

either way, it's interesting to go through a year's worth of work and see what i did wrong and where i've grown as both a person and a photographer. and it always jogs my memory for all those stories i put on the backburner all year long that i really should investigate further.

so here's a couple from just the last few months that i really liked. still haven't decided if they have a place in the paper's web gallery, but it's nice to know they have a place here, for me.

two of the cover shots for our monthly alternative-entertainment, let's-get-young-hip-readers tabloid:

from a story about a Katrina survivor living in Stockton:
soccer practice:
from 20 minutes at a high school band competition:
from a largely unpublished series of prep sports portraits:
so that's it. we'll see what happens as this gallery deadline approaches.