party.

spent some time this weekend trying to get out. i almost always find myself in these social situations - bars, parties, wherever - sticking to the side with my camera in-hand, snapping photos to try and understand what exactly i'm watching. it's usually pretty entertaining, and it feeds my mild obsession with photographing that ever-vague notion of "youth culture."

what can i say? sometimes it's fun to be a fly-on-the-wall when everyone else is having fun.

free.

as much as i hate to admit it, freelance is a much scarier beast than i first gave it credit for. i love the idea of dedicating all the time in the world to projects that i feel make a difference to my community, love setting my own schedule and rate, love that the only thing keeping me back is myself. but that is the problem, too: you are only as successful as you can motivate yourself to be. with no daily deadlines and no newsroom to keep you motivated, every day gets harder and harder to get out there.

after going to the A Photo A Day conference in st. petersburg, fl, this year, i got a better understanding of the freelance gig. most of your time is spent promoting, researching, editing, marketing, calling, emailing... and very little of your time is actually spent shooting. honestly, it's been quite a reality check coming to terms with that.

but every day gets a little better. calls are trickling in slowly. some projects are in the works. and i still get to photograph a few times a month for 209 Vibe. i miss the newsroom and the excitement (even if it was mostly just me) of the daily grind, but maybe there's something to this freelance thing, once you get used to it. at least now i know if i make it, it's because i worked for it; if i don't, i can't blame anyone but myself.

so here are some photos from the last month. looking forward to the exciting prospect of an unknown future.

meteors.

sometimes i have those nights where i realize just how much i love california.

as a native, born and bred in this state, i find myself getting antsy to move somewhere else. but then there are those moments when i feel more at home than ever. and, when my friend mikey invited me to go with his friends out to the fields around lodi to watch the meteor shower at midnight the other day, i had a moment when i felt truly at home here in the central valley.

the photos are far from perfect. i never did catch a meteor on camera. but it was still beautiful. sometimes all it takes is some kids, a guitar, and an old VW bus to make you appreciate home.

unity.

to start off a whirlwind two weeks of jetsetting across the country for no real reason, i went to the UNITY conference in chicago, il, to learn more about the business, be inspired, talk to people about the state of the industry... and most importantly, to shoot.

i find myself a little out of my element at conferences, trying to make a good first impression on the movers and shakers in the journalism world. so when i don't know what to do with myself, i take refuge behind my camera. luckily, UNITY has a shoot-out for photographers and other journalists, giving us just about 48 hours to explore the city and take some pictures along a theme. this year's them was "diversity in chicago" so i split from the conference for an entire day to wander humboldt park, known as a largely puerto rican community that is dealing with impending gentrification. not the best work ever, not the best work for 24 hours wandering the streets, but there's nothing like talking to folks about their daily lives and sitting in the livingrooms of strangers to ground you when the going gets rough.
more to come from adventures in DC and St. Petersburg.

escape.

partly to celebrate my 23rd birthday and partly to escape everything i've been carefully juggling for the last few months, i hitched a ride with friend and fellow photographer heidi huber to portland, oregon, to visit friends and talk photo. thanks much to the incredible hospitality of sol neelman and thomas patterson. and bruce, true to our conversation, i will find a way to save us all.

so here are a few photos. and back to real life.