rollin'

six months ago, i would never have believed that i would be driving across the country for the first time in my life. and i would definitely never have believed i would be doing that alone.

today marks the third day in a trip that i've decided is my chance to live the exciting, youthful adventure i always wondered if i'd missed out on in the past. it's been my chance to really think about my life, re-evaluate how far i've come and how much farther i am willing to push myself. it's been being cooped up in my little car for far too many hours, taking pictures out the window of the darkened landscape and hoping the wind doesn't push me too far onto the shoulder. it's been a playlist of songs i haven't heard since high school that are my safety blanket as i hit unknown territory, singing loud enough for folks in passing cars to turn their heads and stare. it's been freedom and fear, excitement and too much caffeine.

it's been the realization that i am wholly in control of and responsible for my life. and it's been beautiful.

so i left san francisco as the sun set on friday, rolling into phoenix at 4:30 am. stayed with my good friend jason fritz, who i haven't seen since i moved to stockton and he moved all over the country doing photo internships. took it easy in AZ for a while, then left that evening to drive overnight to el paso. crossing state lines in the dead of night, no lights at all until i hit the texas/mexico border and could see juarez on the other side of the freeway. stayed at the shadiest motel i've ever been in, tried to sleep off the caffeine but instead worried if i'd be murdered in my sleep. fell asleep at sunrise, then got up to drive to houston. weimar, texas (this one's for you, mike!):

west texas was the first place of this trip that i was able to actually see while i was driving. somewhere in that desert between high noon and sunset, seeing nothing but truck-stop towns and cacti, i felt free. and as cliche as it sounds, i felt alive. the last six months have been a rollercoaster of ups but mostly downs, and it was incredible to feel totally happy for the first time all year.

two more days for the rest of this trip. florida, here i come.